OK, no helmet, can cut your own food. You outta diapers yet?
Just kidding. You set yourself up for that one.
First off, you're not being thorough enough. Your weakness is only lack of experience, but it sounds like you're getting plenty playing with your lights. And to that, I congratulate you.
You can't run the lights in DMX mode AND master/slave mode. It doesn't work. If the lights have an option to reverse X or Y(pan or tilt), then it would do that, if that's what you wanted it to do.
So, let me state this again:
You need to be in FULL DMX mode for your lights, or they must be chained together using Master/Slave mode. You can't set one light up to be a DMX Master and the other to be a slave or even a DMX slave, it won't work.
It makes full sense that you can't do this.
Read it some more:
If you choose to set up one ligtht as a master, and then other lights as slaves, the slaves will follow the master. Sounds clear as day, right? It is. But, in this mode, this is NOT DMX, this is a proprietary signalling used for those fixtures. It's probably nothing special or majorly interesting, but it's sufcicient for a light to broadcast out its settings to the others. Probably some sort of fixture ID followed by a pulse of values on various channels. The slaves listen for this and replicate their settings to that of the master.
In DMX, there are NO SLAVES, only DMX. You may set up lights with matching addresses, no harm there. But, you can't set a light to be a master(in theory) to be controller via DMX, and then have the "slaves" follow it, it don't work that way.
So, step 1:
Check your addressing on your fixtures. DOCUMENT THIS BY WRITING THIS DOWN. Just for the heck of it, match them all up, OK? All your lights on that DMX signal chain have to be in DMX mode. Any ONE light not in DMX mode and everything after it is gonna be acting funky. And I don't mean the good kind of funky. I'm talking the kind of funky you get when you don't shower for a week kind of funky. Not the "get down, get funky" kind of funky.
Ensure you're on the correct fixture switch on your DMX controller.
Now, all should respond the same.
I'm a sound guy first and foremost. I keep my lighting shows simpler for now. But, I'm usually handling 40+ channels of input and monitors on one desk, so I kinda sorta got my hands and ears and eyes full just keeping the slackers on stage in check and rock and rolling.
Share more data. That's all I can say.
You might want to read some remedial type stuff on DMX. This isn't to be insulting, it's to get you to understand DMX and how it works, and why you may be having SOME problems. The rest will be learned from reading your manuals and taking notes. Trust me, this taking notes, even if you don't ever use them, helps knock it deeper into your head for better recall later on. Get a decent meal and a good night's sleep and it should stay locked away in your brain for a while.