Let's consider a few things:
1: What you want to do requires a more expensive solution. Say, Compu Live.
2: Lights should be run by a lighting operator, not the performer. But hey, that's just me. let me put it this way: a band multi-tasking will suck at all elements. Musicians need to play. Sound needs to be run by a sound engineer, and lightng should be run by a lighting tech.
Please understand what MTC is. MTC has no factor in your application. The tempo of your sequence would determine timing. But, fade times are typically a function of a lighting controller, NOT MIDI.
My testing with MyDMX and Sonar Home hasn't been exactly "blow your mind". It's being investigated.
What you want isn't MyDMX. You're past that if that's what you want to do.
myDMX is a great package. It works wonderful for my sound production company.